As author of this website my first instinct is to claim the privilege of walking away from featuring myself here. But as Ellen’s son I am by definition part of her story. and probably should make an effort.

I doubt that Ellen she would expect anything. Typically, in her heart of hearts – if she thought my inclusion totally appropriate, the highest extent to which she would apply pressure would be simply to say “go on – lets see what you do”. Well OK – succumbing to the pressure of my delusional projections – here goes, mother! – ‘tally ho!’.

Incidentally – in deference to sixty’s youth culture – of which she rather enjoyed the thought that I was part of – she found it amusing to refer to herself as ‘the old bag’ – till years beyond that period, when in fact, she started to feel the ravages of ‘seniority’.

I don’t need include my creative life since there are a range of websites I already constructed with rather more content the world has patience for – and my bio is unremarkable. I left Africa in 1969 and shared years in between Germany and England and Scotland. I was a special effects advertising studio photographer though I took art photos in Africa and elsewhere during that time on trips. I moved to the Bay Area, USA around 2000 strove to get to the present moment, doing a few creative things as an aside to making enough for shelter and food. Again – unremarkable in scope, but I trust I have at least a few years to go, to try to rub some of the creative tarnish off some residual childhood dreams.

Beyond that – what might be relevant here – and brief enough – are mutual things we went through in my formative years. Much of what contributed to my own make-up started long before I existed. It was passed on and subject to some degree of mutual contemplation later in my life.

Ellen who arrived in Africa seeking refuge – rather than cliché colonial profit and conquer ethos. Profit seeking tends to blinker one only to the bottom line – while pesky peripheral things – which bring attention to themselves – are redirected to dedicated brain centers which deal solely with ‘justification’

She and David ended up in Africa as refugees and did not need to focus on defensively justifying their presence there as much. And having some free brain cells free to focus on other things – what she and David witnessed were the a cultural effects of invasive modern high technology on traditional indigenous societies. And when I came along – and now there was a continuum I could join in with – contemplating the self same things from a similar point of view.

Whereas the modern thinking tends to only focus on the bad effects of transferred technology to societies – which when convenient to current narrative are assumed to be unprepared to receive them – what I think impressed was how the opposite was true (at least in attitude terms).

When a people expressed wonder at – and are drawn to embrace ‘the new’, we have a spectacle which opens the mind as to how the entirety of humanity is primed to take huge evolutionary leaps. As Ellen used to say about one of her friends – she arrived in the country when there were no roads 0n a pioneering ox wagon and she lived to see humans land on the moon. On the Copperbelt as the photos show – some were walking barefoot and using spears to feed themselves – and then in one go they stepped out of that world into a modern car or an airplane. Thus it was that I remember as a toddler – talking to laborers at my father’s terrazzo business about basic astronomy and titbits of science, which may of them knew nothing. Such as – what is the moon and what are the stars.

This made me think that if they can make such a leap in understanding in such a short time – so can the rest of us. And given that all this was already in the air with 60’s ideas of humanity about to make a big step and evolve into something higher and more god like resulted in ambitions which were mostly unrealistic. So in a sense – looking back on my life and what I have done as extremely disappointing. A disappointment not because of parental pressure to succeed but more from the potential which time and place suggested.

That is not to say that this is just a personal hang-up. Technology has moved on leaving most up bemused, feeling abused, confused and frequently depressed about our futures. Unlike the 60’s idea – if we are to evolve into superior versions of ourselves we have set ourselves on a course where we discover after the fact that we let go of agency in exchange for the illusion of choice. The technology we sleepwalked into adopting holds a gun to our heads and says – evolve to something better than you are or forget you silly little dreams of happiness and such like – or simply die a miserable death and go extinct.

And yet – just as in the movies – there is this heroic vision of humanity prevailing against all odds. It is a story probably better told by AI than penned by a human – but what is true is that if we want to remain special (at least as far as self perception is concerned) – we need to put some real Marshal plan type effort into doing that evolving thing.. Being great again is no option when it becomes clear – one was never great. Sleepwalking is not ‘great’..

And looking back – as I am in constructing this website. It could be a weak and sentimental look back – or it can be a reminder of the old days and old narratives, which might lend us a clue of two as to how to construct a human future with a balance of individualism within a collective consciousness – versus futuristic slavery or Borg like dilution of self. Take your pick.

Oh and in closing – David, the amazing renaissance artist/inventor father died when I was an unformed 15 year old rebellious teen and while he did shape me, he was not around to talk to as adult to adult. And anyway this website is dedicated to Ellen’s memory and her life.